Dear Santa........Help

Dear Santa,
It’s been awhile,
This may take a mile,
Christmas is soon; hope you read this before noon.


Times have changed,
Toys I longer seek,
Barbie dolls I longer desire.
MJ’s concert is not on my list.
Material things...I shall not ask

I seek for happiness beyond my reach.
I ask to find out the unknown that torment my nights.
Help me understand the dreams that can not let me be.
I need answers to questions that have forever gone un answered.

Dear Santa
Allot has happened, since my last letter,
A broken heart, I have natured,
Take away this emptiness I feel,
Let my heart jump at the sound of Christmas carols,
Let them bring laughter instead of tears.

Dear Santa
Mama’s eyes are different; they’ve lost the glow I used to tell about.
Brighten them this Christmas,
I know we all won’t be together,
Kindly let our souls connect as one,
Heal uncle keisy for he’s the pillar that holds it all.

Dear Santa,
Teach me;
How to trust with out doubt,
Endure without anger,
Love without fear,
Smile with my heart and not my teeth,
To accept things I cannot change.

Dear Santa,
Christmas is near,
I’m afraid it might find me sad,
It’s sadness I cannot help,
Heal my wounds,
Take away my guilt.


Dear Santa,
I yearn for the past,
I distaste the present,
I dread the future, share a glimpse of what it may be.

Dear Santa,
Please don’t ask me whether I’ve been good
That’s a question I’m afraid to answer.

I speak for My self.

Mama raised me to believe that choices I make in my life will determine my future. Well, my child hood innocence has vanished with no trace, mama’s tales are miles away. Fresh beliefs govern my youth as I face the World with my own eyes. Don’t blame when I say that I believe my life including all events and happenings are predetermined.

The pattern of my life was fixed at birth or sometime just before and no matter what I do I cannot change my fate. The so called free will given to me is powerless to change my fate.

Christianity the faith that has ruled my life condemns Judas Iscariot as a traitor; I have failed to find his fault. Jesus’ death had already been foretold a thousand years ago, Judas was a puppet of fate. Prophecies exist to be fulfilled, we as human beings are just actors who don’t know how the script will end. The directors of the script are the gods.

The possibility of imposing good order in the world is no longer a part of my dreams, because everything is controlled by a force beyond our reach. We hope for justice and peace yet those who cause cruelty and suffering were born and not made. No more do I seek to understand the world, as the good die along with the wicked, no reason will be offered for the unbearable suffering because what is divine takes charge.

All events in my life have been finalized, however much I try, things seem to work themselves out as they please. Finality is projected into my beginning and my future is inevitable.

I don’t believe in accidents, we are on a collision course by design. Everything is connected and the entire world can be seen as existing within such a network, a kind of mythical spider web controlled by unseen forces.

Reality

I took a step towards dream land,
I prayed for no return,
I built a castle in the sky,
I believed I would hold it till the end.
I hoped for a future without respect for the present.

All was well till reality came my way.
I tried to cry,tears were ashamed of me,
Foolish!I was to dream like a child,
Sleep abandoned me as I lay on my bed,
Time moved like a snail,it was surely mocking me,
Desperately i hoped the darkness would comfort me.

Jealousy and envy took shelter in my heart,
All i wanted was to be in those shoes,
Deep down I had always known,they were a perfect fit.
Had I been a little earlier...

Fate had not favored me,false love had found me.
Soon,it will all be gone.
May be I should vanish without a trace,
Honesty,I was too late for this race.

pure love

To love like a child,is to love beyond all boarders.
You accept someone regardless of the odds.
A child hates for a moment,tears quickly wipe a way the anger.
A child's love crosses the boundaries of wealth and poverty.
I wish I could love like a child,Its sad I can not.
The cruel world has shown me too much.
To love like a child is only foolishness in my youth.

My little prayer

Last night, I said a prayer for you.
I opened my heart to the creator,
On bended knees,I asked the lord;

Dear lord, bless the one I love.
Grant him wisdom to only trust you,
Give him the strength to face his fears.

Provide him with courage to live his dark days
Walk with him each time his alone,
Don't forsake him when he wrongs you,
Guide him through the right path.

Provide him with patience to calm his enemies.
Lord sorry if I am asking for too much.
My heart is burdened,a price I'm paying for love.

quiet........

Silently he listens,
Calmly ,he speaks.
Why is he so quiet,I wonder.

He tries to speak,am curious..
Once again he goes silent.
Thoughts pierce his heart,but he fails to let them out.

His eyes are filled with sorrow,
quiet,he still remains.
Am I to blame?

What secret does he hold?
Has he been hurt before?
All questions go an answered,
Quiet he still remains.

SHARING THE PAIN..........

How can something so magical hurt this bad?
Its like the purest white linen turning into coal,
How can something once so sweet taste so bitter.
Mama, why?

It was something that once made my heart jump with joy,
Today,it crushes my heart.
Mama, help take the pain away,
The world should not see me cry.

Cry my little one,the pain will be gone soon.
Weep my child,release your heavy heart.
Shout if you must,don't drown in your sorrows.

The sun will shine soon,
Have faith my little one,the dark clouds will soon be gone.
Let my laps be your pillow,
I will wipe away your tears.

Michael Jackson.

From North to East, South to West,
Tears cover the earth as people mourn your passing.
Tributes and praises feel the air,

I begin to wonder.
Where they were when you cried?
The world that condemned you now praises you!

You are gone to soon,they all say.
Forgetting, they pushed to your early grave.
Now, they want to understand you,
Yet,no one listened as you cried!for the childhood you never had!

At last you must say,
Peace at last,
My sorrows are no more,
Calm and quiet, good bye.

Endless,
I wished upon a star,
I prayed with my hands towards the sky,
I asked our friendship be endless.

I sang a song for you,
The birds sang along in sweet melodies,
Well, the snakes hissed with bitterness.

I shouted beyond the sky,
I wanted the world to know,
Those with ears heard my voice,
The ones with eyes were amazed,

My friend, this is not madness,
It’s just the endless love I have for you.